sick

I seldom talk about my sickness coz I don't want to stick in the unhappiness and I don't want to gain mercy from people by this. I try to live as a normal person.

I know that I'm not normal anymore. My health/stomach is getting worser and worser. The soar throat in indeed is very serious. I can't sing anymore. I can't chat with people as long as want which I love anymore. I even cannot argue with people anymore.

Despite I don't want make use of this as a weapon to gain privilege/mercy from others, I do want to have comfort and understanding from my loved one. I got this sickness is not because of my careless on my health, my careless on eating....my careless.......etc. I got this is not because of ME!!! Whenever I heard that people blamed me on this to others, I got pissed off. How come you blame this one me? Despite you may not have this meaning, what I got is this. I need comfort and encouragement, but not condemnation.

I'm extremely sad of losing my voice. Can you understand my difficulties and sadness more? I fail to communicate well coz I try to minimize the words I have to say. Can you treasure every word I said to you? even I'm painful to say, I try hard to answer every question you ask and I try to tell you my stuff? Do you know how painful am I to tell you the storyline of the WICKED? I hope you can enjoy the show more. That's why I read the storyline and tell you.

I know you care me. Can you care my emotion? but not just blame me?